A parents plan
Our prayer is that our children eventually become self-disciplined allowing the light of God to be lit from within thus showing God loving spirit. God doesn't overpower our wills nor does he take away our freedom, God doesn't want just voluntary obedience from us. Obedience without love leads to all manner of addictions. Why? Because a heart contained by rules only, with no fire within, must find something that tastes alive makes you feel alive, and cheap substitutes for life are all around us. He wants our hearts open to his spirit, and from there He promises to breath life into our beings.
Yahweh said, "I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly." He hasn't called us to passive niceness nor bullying selfishness - but to passionate goodness.
As a Hebrew homeschooler I focus a lot of attention on obedience and authority. With 11 children there was a time when I would tell people hey I never want any of my children to leave -----What was I thinking. I felt that my husband and I were working and investing way too much for them just to pack up and leave, I always thought that my daughters would marry God fearing men, and my son’s would marry wonderful, God fearing women, and we would all work together as one big happy family.
I now truly believe that God gave us the authority and power to build our children, equip them for the battle between good and evil, we are given as parents the right to be more like shepherds leading the sheep and not military generals demanding the sheep. It isn't the authority to command and overtake their wills, but the authority to nurture them in their choices guides them on their path. The playing field we work in is so that we can offer our children a safe place to grow, a safe place to make mistakes, but large enough for them to still be nurtured, and bounded for their safety. This sheltered environment grows with the child's mind, spirit and ability through this they learn to stand and grow from it, it nurtures the inter - choices and their mental growth. Every year they move on to a new bigger challenge and a more complex environment eager to discover a bigger world.
I use to hear it growing up and now I use it myself, I like to say to my children, "When you can be more responsible, then you can have more freedom." In the real world, they become more responsible through the process of choosing through learning. It is when we make choices, and live with the consequences of those choices, that we grow this helps us develop. Now I really see that as parents leading our young sheep that we might have to open up the fences a little more, that at times our children clearly need more room to grow and develop that spirit of God. I/ We need to listen for this and be ok with letting go just a little.