Pushing for the best!!

Because I have always felt the universe has dealt me a hand that has been too hard to carry at times. I made myself a promise that my children would feel what I never have loved and cared for.    Every parent I know wants what’s best for their children. But our idea of what is best for them might not always jibe with their ideal’s.   I am often in a battle with myself over gentle nudging and helping them with what personal decision they think is correct, trying to find that delicate balance between encouraging and pushing too hard.

The question I am always asking myself is: Am I pushing too hard? At its best, getting kids to do things that are challenging for them will teach them grit and flexibility while also widening their world view — whether it’s participating in sports, trying out for a new class or engaging in a new social situation.  But at its worst, pushing children too far can cause them to retreat inward, become resentful or develop even greater anxiety and prolonged fear about trying new things. I find It difficult to determine how much parental pressure I should put on my children and when I should back off.

I think that pushing my kids is a matter of getting them out of their comfort zone, and then pushing that zone further and further out to help prepare them for the real world should be my position.  As parents we know that being able to tolerate discomfort is a wonderful life trait, and in addition to that, it makes them more resilient and braver. 

What I push my children to do boils down to my own judgment of what I feel is in their best interest. For me pushing them to work harder at school and to develop stronger study habits  thus making them more academically sound, is something I push for.   I push for things that I  think will enrich their lives and make them feel good about themselves, in the long run    I also find myself pushing my  children to do things in the hopes that it will give them a competitive advantage  in building a joyful future.  I have found that encouraging my children to power through a tough situation can bolster their confidence.

I want them to have a sense of confidence to know that if there is a challenging moment, they can handle it.   As their parent I pray that I am helping them to learn to problem solve instead of them feeling that problems  can be completely removed. I see how accomplished and good my children feel when they are able to get through it on their own with very little help. 

I guess in this season  I am trying to  learn  how much to push and when to back off according to my children's personality.  The first thing is knowing my kiddo’s strengths and weaknesses particularly when it comes to pushing them to do extracurricular activities. 

My own childhood experiences greatly impact how I  parent.  I pray daily that my children avoid the mistakes I have  made.  So if a parent thinks they would have been more successful if only they’d done better in school or participated in a sport, chances are they will push their kids in that direction.

I love to dance and enjoyed softball. I really wanted my daughter to play softball also but she didn’t. Want to!   I wanted to push her into trying it but I had to remember that the things that motivated me might not necessarily motivate her.  One out of two was not bad I guess she loves dance but even there she is not very eager to venture out. 

As a parent I want my daughter to try new things.I don’t want to throw her into the deep end of the pool  and hope she can swim.  I want her to feel supported and give her the  understanding she can do whatever she puts her mind to she is beautiful and smart!