It can all be too much!

 

I need to find out when the feeling of exhaustion became my constant  reality?

I was standing in the laundry room  eyeing loads and loads of clothing,  and the load that has been washed 3 times now. still set in the washer  I’d absent-mindedly  put it on again and forgot about it yay me!  A year or two before,  I’d have spent some energy upset about the waste.   Instead, I shrugged and blankly stared out the window in our laundry room, the trees becoming a hazy blur as I restarted  the koab for the fourth time.  I was too tired to care. 

Sadly this wasn’t the first day I’d had such an apathetic reaction. Off and on for months, I’d  became impatient, anxious, maybe even uninterested in all things family.  It was a challenging state of mind, one I’d drifted into while caring for the six children I still had at home. As the washer started it's gentle dance,  I gave up on assembling a clean and organised laundry room and solidly closed the door. 

That’s when it hit me: I was burned out. Toasted. Stick a Fork in me I was done.  Crisped to a multigrain Cheerios level that required far more intervention than a coffee date or pedicure. 

Though it was little consolation, I knew I wasn’t alone. Late-night or rapid-fire naptime texts from friends often consisted of confessions of feeling the same—of exhaustion,  the feeling of being overwhelmed, of day-to-day parenting that lead to minimal patience, dissatisfaction and emotional let down.

There’s an official term for this clothes line hung to dry state: It’s  called “mommy burnout,” and it’s widely recognized as a real—and potentially serious—problem. It creates a seemingly inescapable emptiness that stops your ability to properly care for yourself—or your family. 

Despite  previously devoting  my full being to every aspect of my family,  it has becomes hard to enjoy simple momens with them—hard to simply be. I have lost interest in parenting and  in most aspects of family life in general  I seem to at times have a hard time coping.   Burnout makes me  feel depressed, moody, unable to manage all the famiy responsibilities—in short, it’s the worst version of myself on autopilot. It’s a dark place, and it’s one that I find myself in  more and more.

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Most WOMyEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE CEO's OF A COMPANies, MANAGE THE HOUSEHOLD, do the GROCERY shopping , HELP pay the BILLS.  No  WOMAN CAN KEEP ALL OF THOSE BALLS UP AT THE SAME TIME.”

Not only did I feel the  burn out I felt a loss of self-worth, trapped.  Burnout is often reinforced by feelings of “guilt, shame and loneliness,” And they blamed themselves instead of their situation—I know I did—therefore becoming both the “victims and perpetrators.”    The pressure of feeling like I had to raise successful,  well rounded children was anoher  stone to carry.  

“My goodness, the pressure  I put on myself thinking that I needed to have my children in every activity known to man,”  was how I measured  how well I was doing,  It borded on insanity.  I didn't have what my mother and grandmother had a village.  I don't believe we were meant to raise our chidren alone with no extended family, no village.

Even with abundant resources, I often have a hard time delegating or asking for help, which could be credited to an unspoken pressure that I and many other moms feel to wear a S on my chest.  This unbue pressure coud  be an attribute our society’s  "Mom, can do everything” mentalityat that add to our daily stress. 

I work from home and have over the past 4 years became the main bread winner and  boy let me tell you  how I still struggle to maintain a balance. Trying to juggle  six personalities, school, sports and  Doctor appointments day in and day out  is exhausting,  As a woman I feel that I am having to  take on roles that traditionally that my husband would be doing.  While here I am working full-time,  trying to be a perfect mom, perfect employee and perfect wife, and it’s impossible.” 

I never feel good enough and  I tend to have a A personality which really dosen't help.

Have you been… 

• Engaging in reckless behavior to escape your family and responsibilities? 
• Experiencing real problems with concentration? 
• Experiencing headaches and stomachaches? 
• Having suicidal thoughts or fantasies such as “disappearing permanently”? 
• Abandoning your goals completely? 
• Snapping at people easily and exhibiting close to zero patience for your kids or spouse? 
• Struggling to get out of bed in the morning and fantasizing about sleeping all the time? 

 Then you might be depressed. 

Have you been… 

• Preoccupied with something most days of the week and hours of the day for the past six months? 
• Experiencing trouble sitting still, fatigue, trouble concentrating, agitation, tight or sore muscles, or difficulty falling or staying asleep? 
• Dealing with so much worry that it causes significant stress and interferes with daily life? 

Then you might be anxious.