Monday, February 27, 2017

Homeschooling the special needs child....

As a mom homeschooling a few special needs children, I can
understand how challenging it can be.   Homeschooling any child
requires, sacrifice, patience, and unconditional love, but when a
child with special needs is in the mix triple all the above.   What
I've had to learn is that it is no easy task for my child who has the special need either.  Children with a special needs tend to be extra hard on their selves, and their self esteem is constantly being
put to the test. Some learning disabilities can  be  overcome with focused effort but there are so many that can only be managed.  The emotional drain on a parent helping to educate, inspire and encourage their child can be a heavy burden especially if your trying to do it sll on your own.

Those of us who have special children and who are walking in faith take comfort in knowing we are truly not alone. The Lord tells us in Matthew 11:28- 30 for us to come to him all of  us who are heavy laden and he will give us rest.  As parents of special little  our much needed refuge is found only in our faith.  Homeschooling children with special needs is one of the most effective ways to successfully teach them and God gives us the knowledge and understanding to allow our children to thrive under our love and care .

Prayer :

Than you father for instilling in me exactly what is needed to create the environment to educate this very special  gift you have entrusted me with.  I  will seek the shelter of your strong towers when I feel over whelmed and burdened In your sons holy name Aman......

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Embracing change!

Change is a part of growth. Everyone changes and your spouse is no different. There Comes A Time when you get to a point where you no longer recognize who the person is that you are in a relationship with the person you love more than anything, this is where the problem lies. You ask yourself how can someone change so dramatically to the point that you can't even recognize them.
I'm not going to lie to you out of left field it seemed like my husband became someone else someone I didn't recognize, some invisible line got crossed and I started to feel like his enemy or a very disinterested associate rather than his cherished partner and his friend. I would like to think that this happened all of a sudden but in all honesty the  fact is it has been building over time. Our busy lives blinded us, were thinking everything is fine and then the next moment all hell is breaking loose. If you're like me you're wondering what to do next in retrospect I could really look back and pinpoint the exact moment when aliens started inhabitating my husband's body. What was my next move? Was this just a passing but forgettable stage? I was something bigger going on? Was a time for me to pack my bags and my children and leave? Or was it time to dig in deep and do something that I hadn't done in a long time put in some work. The truth is there's no fast rules except from pay attention I had to step back and I had to pay attention. I had to hold on to my faith I had to seek Good Counsel, and I had to trust my gut. What things had fell apart, what had I missed.  I couldn't make emotional judgments, I had to take inventory and realized that neither of us had effective communication skills, so thus far neither of us were really being heard by the other.
So here's a hint when communication is at it's best, everyone can share their different points of views and no one leaves feeling let down.... Oh but when its bad its bad.  No one is concerned about the other persons point or well being, only about their own preferences. Once I understood that there was no perfect person or relationships, only broken people trying to be whole. Remember I said you couldn't be emotional at this point I had to be honest with myself, and realize then I couldn't change ny husband only my perception and my response. . I could seek God's wisdom, I could pray, not for God to change my husband but for him to change me.   Remember God is forever working on my resume.  The way he is working on me is not the same way he is working  on my husbands.   For a broken soul like mine Trust doesn't come easy so I have to trust that my father King of the Universe wants nothing but the best for me., that includes a great marriage, and a loving partner. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Wow time....Slow down!

These are my heart beats .....How they have grown,,,,I miss them being this age ....

The Tribe!

My little loves !!!

I'm a little Immature!

A few days ago my 9 old daughter Aniyah, was having a hard day she sometimes has trouble controlling her feelings. Yesterday was no different and she was feeling misunderstood and begin to have one of her famous Mini Tantrums. Her 12 year old brother Yeshe at this point was very annoyed and said God and now you're acting like a two-year-old! Like on key Aniyah said  "what do you expect i'm immature".
I couldn't help but laugh, because there are days when I wonder if I am immature also. Days when I am surly and snappy, to the people closest to me, days when I allow myself the triple brownie and then feel a little guilty about doing so. 
You know the days when the words don't even pour out of onto my computer screen, days where student papers stay just where they are, days when my children wish I would just go back to bed and start all over. The days when my Bible seems too heavy for me to even take off my desk to open, days when I wonder if I'm 46 or 6. The New Year's here and it's moving fast we're already in February. A new year is a perfect time to remind myself/ ourselves that live like a calendar keeps moving forward and it slows for No One. 
Unfortunately we can't call the years back and there will always be times when we feel like we don't measure up I do daily. I don't make New Year's resolutions I make small private goals instead,and my first one is always the same I want to be more like my father.  For this to happen and for me to fulfill some of this goal the following has to happen. 
1)  I have to control my tongue,
2)  I have to Shield my mind 
3)  I have to keep his words in my heart daily. 
Once I master the above I will then be able to say I've matured. Colossians 14:20 .

Lord this year help me and others grow and your ways, help us to mature spiritually as we spread your word in Truth and Love help us show only your image.

Broken and weak!!

I'm broken.... I didn't want to believe how weak and broken I was, still am... I'm desperate to hear God,  to feel God, I cry out to him needing to be held by him.... My brokenness and weakness is deep and unforgiving.  I went to a women's conference today with my dear sister and friend Kit. If I told you about my friend you would move to Florida just to meet her. She has a way of speaking life into dead souls. So no different today she said to be open and wait for God.  True to Gods form and way, he met me at the conference right on cue. He met me in my weakness, he met me in my broken state. This wonderful speaker spoke of a love so great, so profound a love that breaks walls, and restores souls.  The speaker was speaking to hundreds but directly to me, she told me that God loved me so much,,,,She set a picture in motion of how he wanted me, yes me, broken me..... No one had ever wanted me.....It was almost to much to wrap my mind around..... He wanted me the person who has trouble trusting... Me....
I wanted to believe her, I wanted to believe the many God fearing women like Kit, Olivia and many others whom God has placed in my path.  My life has been consumed almost engulfed  searching for a father I have read about, heard about but have yet trusted myself.  It was hard to understand that I was going to get to know my father in my weakness, in my brokenness is where I was going to find YESHUA.... In my weakness is where I would be healed.  God was there today, where he had always been, caring me, holding me .  His strength is will give me grace..... My weakness is an opportunity to grow for me to learn to rest in his undying love.   I learned to day that I need  Gods love to invade my heart, and heal my soul to comfort me, like only a father love can.

So sisters, no matter where you are, who you are just like God met me he'll meet you.....Right where you are, no mater the time, God's right there waiting, arms open a=waiting with grace, love and a undying fatherly strength.... Try him...

Oh well.....

I don't know about you but at times I get into a rut of trying to live up to the appearance I have created in my head  you know like (your kids need the perfect outfit, your hair needs to be perfectly styled, your house has to be eat off the floor clean..etc)? I think we have all been there and I know how really easy it is to get caught up in this type of cycle, mostly because in this day and age we are always on!! So today I sank to a new low, I Febreezed my son, ( secretly of course)!  in my defense teen age boys smell... bad.. Seriously, and they seem to oblivious to the fact.  At this age, they still gives me a hard time when it comes to taking the time to break and shower, as they grow soap and water have be become friends and they both need to meet you. So I figured it was time to make him smell better! If you can make a room smell better then it would be a easy job for my small human son....Right?? I refuse to take him with me and someone ask do you smell that? and me knowing good and well it could be him.. Just saying.. 🙂