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Pushing for the best!!

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Because I have always felt the universe has dealt me a hand that has been too hard to carry at times. I made myself a promise that my children would feel what I never have loved and cared for.    Every parent I know wants what’s best for their children. But our idea of what is best for them might not always jibe with their ideal’s.   I am often in a battle with myself over gentle nudging and helping them with what personal decision they think is correct, trying to find that delicate balance between encouraging and pushing too hard. The question I am always asking myself is: Am I pushing too hard? At its best, getting kids to do things that are challenging for them will teach them grit and flexibility while also widening their world view — whether it’s participating in sports, trying out for a new class or engaging in a new social situation.  But at its worst, pushing children too far can cause them to retreat inward, become resentful or develop even greater anxiety and prolonged fear a
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vacation 2022

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Vacation 2022  Dania Beach Florida     
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Unspoken Expectations!

  This year has been really hard on the whole family.  I have tried so hard to put everything out in the open so we as a family could start over.  I planned this family getaway so that we could reconnect and start healing.  I knew Al has been under a lot of stress lately, so I decided to surprise him by trying to involve him so that he felt important.  But for all my labor, all I got back from Al was mental shutdown and again being pushed away.  I was disappointed and hurt.  I Looked up the word "expectation" in a dictionary and I find two definitions. The first is about expectations that signify my belief about what someone should do. I expect my children to clean their rooms once a week and not hit each other. I expect my partner to be reliable—pay the electric bill when he says he will—to be honest and faithful. In real life, such expectations are like ground rules that create the foundation for a relationship and are usually openly talked about. But the other definition
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When opposites attract and marry!

  Do you believe in the old adage that tells us that opposites attract for the better? Not only is it wrong – but it may be less true than we ever thought.    If you're like me you truly believed in the old wise tale that opposites attract,  Hell  if like me you put your whole life on it.  The older I get the more I realize that the older generation missed a few things.  Maybe back then marriages and friendships were established on a different foundation.   I don’t think they had the Disney-ified versions of this playing on the big screen so for us it has been kind of hard not to buy into this concept of the more opposite of our true self the better.   There are many important aspects of relationships, the most important being  personality traits, needs, and preferences that would be a much better fit when they are opposite or complementary, rather than similar.   I truly believe that I was attracted to my husband  because he  has some qualities that I  feel I  kinda suck at.  Th
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When Your roommates your spouse

  If you would have asked me 15 years ago if I would be living in a sexless unforfilled marriage I would have laughed at you.... We use to have sex everywhere two or three times a day and it was amazing my husband was amazing.  I thought we had something special ... untill we didn't  There are many reasons we are here and to be honest we both have played a part in the failure of this part of our relationship ( here's my part).  I have always felt that I was never enough for anyone and my husband was added to the list a few years ago.  The devil has always played with that weak part of me  feeding into my  insercurites of just not being enough, not pretty enough, not small enough, not smart enough just never able to meet the standard of what I felt was already set .  To be honest being married and having my forever person  didn't help, in fact it made it worst Below are the three main reason I felt I aided in the lost our deep connection: 1) The first thing I think was benig
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It can all be too much!

  I need to find out when the feeling of exhaustion became my constant  reality? I was standing in the laundry room  eyeing loads and loads of clothing,  and the load that has been washed 3 times now. still set in the washer  I’d absent-mindedly  put it on again and forgot about it yay me!  A year or two before,  I’d have spent some energy upset about the waste.   Instead, I shrugged and blankly stared out the window in our laundry room, the trees becoming a hazy blur as I restarted  the koab for the fourth time.  I was too tired to care.   Sadly this wasn’t the first day I’d had such an apathetic reaction. Off and on for months, I’d  became impatient, anxious, maybe even uninterested in all things family.  It was a challenging state of mind, one I’d drifted into while caring for the six children I still had at home. As the washer started it's gentle dance,  I gave up on assembling a clean and organised laundry room and solidly closed the door.  That’s when it hit me: I was burned
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 Rebuilding a Broken Relationship after months and years of damage! An old wise woman once told me that trust is the foundation of every relationship.   How do you rebuild trust once it is broken?  Trust can be broken in many different ways often infidelity and other times by the result of one partners behavior betraying the others sense of safety and confidence.   Trust can also be broken when unspoken expectation have failed to be met.  Lines get crossed when what is expected is not communicated to the other person.  What ever the cause hope is not lost.... You can rebuild trust but it will take work from both parties. Let's not not get ahead of ourselves it is crucial to understand what trust is, what it feels like , and how it looks.   Trust is described as a feeling of commitment and faith, like a big hug all warm and safe.  Trust is  something  you can consistently rely on a safe place to land when everything else is unsure. The lack of trust will look and feel different for
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