The Wedding Ring!

The order of things matters.  That’s why we have old sayings like “don’t put the cart before the horse… don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”  Although  we know this and it seems so easy, why do we forget this so often when it comes to our families?
Genesis 1-2 show the picture of our first parents’ home in its beautiful order.  Let’s look at a snapshot:
So God Yahweh created man in his own image, in the image of God Yeshua  he created him; male and female he created them.… God Yahweh saw all that he had made, and it was good. (Gen 1:27-28, 31)
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother an will cleve unto his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Gen 2:24,)
This is where a little good studying can make a great home.  What do we notice about the first family?  God Yahweh made man and woman, united them in marriage, blessed them, and said this is VERY GOOD.  And ther were no children in the picture yet!
That tells us something huge about Yeshua’s thoughts on  marriage and parenting.  Order matters.  Parenting comes out of a marriage full of oneness, not the other way around.  To put it simply, the healthiest families are marriage-centered, not child-centered.
Moms and Dads Need a Marriage-centered Home
Let’s face it; raising children takes a lot of time and physical energy, emotional stability, and patient understanding.  When Alazar and I finally celebrate our 27th anniversary in September, we will have had children in our home for 28 of those years.  We should have been trying constantly to  keep our marriage at the center our lives,  allowing that to be the foundation for which our, children and grandchildren see and imitate marriage..
Don't get me wrong I love my children and grandchildren all 7 of them more than I can say, but I am not and never will be one with them.  There is only one person that I can be one with—Alazar.  So failing to make my marriage the priority relationship in my home violates the reason God Yahweh created  marriage in the first place.  And going against God’s purpose for our marriage never leads to God’s blessing in and through our marriage.
Children are designed to leave the home.  Attaching our hearts to our children as our priority relationship keeps them from leaving  and the relationships remaining healthy.  But if the relationship priorities are right, then when they leave, mom and dad will be able to continue enjoying the oneness of their marriage and the next season of fruitfulness that comes from it.  That should be a wildly  loving and creative season.  
Children Need to see a Marriage-centered Home
Children are not designed or equipped mentally to carry the emotional and relational load of being the main center in a home.  Instead, our children  grow and function best when they are like the  stars  in the sky apart of the main galastic system but not the system itself, mom and dad’s relationship is the system the stars just shinning within.   
My son Amaziyah is  5  years old and in kindergarten.  His greatest challenges are learning phonics and trying to sit still.  Can you imagine the pressure that’s added to his life when he thinks that he also has to be the source of mom and dad’s happiness?  Talk about carrying a heavy burden!
The happiest and most secure children are raised in marriage-centered homes, because children are not meant to be the point of the home.  Yahweh is the point of our homes or he should be!  And oneness in marriage paints a picture of Yeshua and invites our kids into it.  Marriage-centered parenting gives the security and joy our kids desire.
Alazar and I have had to fight for a marriage-centered home, especially when our 5 older kids were young, at one point we had 5 under 5.  They filled so much of the space of our lives that there was little margin for us as a couple.
There have been times that we have felt like no more than an under paid maid service.  We we’re a husband and wife first.”  Over the years we have had to looked for ways to keep our marriage as the priority relationship in our home.
To be honest we didn’t succeeded often; sometimes it felt like we failed daily.  But the journey toward a home that comes from our oneness is worth too much to everyone for us to quit.
I would love to hear how you work at keeping your marriage as the center of your family, how your  fulfilling Yeshua’s plan for marriage?

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