So my loved one is an addit!

No one plans on their loved ones becoming an addict?  It just happens somehow, somewhere out of the blue for some and by genetic default for others. Even though we can understand that our loved ones who have become addicts are struggling with issues that they can't handle alone.  But the human side of us still has the whys, whens, and hows that invade our thoughts and sway our emotions.  The constant questions of why can't they just stop using.  When is enough going to be enough? How could they do this if they loved us? Addiction comes with many faces it could present as prescription drugs, street drugs,  or alcohol and in many cases all the above.
The Problem is as they struggle so do their loved ones, spouses, children, parents, and even friends.
It is so important for those who loves someone who Struggles with drug abuse these are some signs to watch for does the person in question sleeping more or have irregular sleeping hours (not due to change in job, medication, or life change)
  • Finding that valuables are missing and that money is being misplaced 
  • Stealing
  • Lying about substance abuse or how they are using
  • Becoming angry, sad or lashing out when questioned about their abuse,  or change inhabits.
  • Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when unable to use
  • Change of personality, people act differently when under the influence.  
3. Know that addiction is not a choice that your loved one can control.
4. Because we love them our first thought is to force them into getting help.  Remember we can't force them to do anything. Even if they agree due to wanting to please their spouse, children, or parents this too might fail.
Freewill play's a major role but so does the fact that substance abuse is a compulsive disorder that many are unable to stop without wanting to and without help. When someone is hooked on a substance the risk/reward center in their brain has been rewired with repeated reinforcement of a substance that has been abused changing our loved one's chemical levels.
5. Blaming them or ourselves will only create a false sense of relief.
6. Protecting them will only end with you hurting them and yourself more.

What s next

1. Setting realistic expectations
2. Seeking help for your self
3. Believing that this is not your fault4.
4. Learning about codependency and breaking co-dependent relationships 
5. Knowing when it's time to move on / leave

Helping a child understand addiction

Any child living in a home where there is parental substance abuse can be very difficult, unpredictable, confusing and life-changing.  Most will even believe that the alcohol or drug abuse is because of them or their fault.
Many children start to feel guilty and shame because they have to keep their family secrets.  To help them try the following.

* Tell them that addiction is a disease
* Tell them that it is not their fault
* Tell them they are not alone
* Teach them the seven C's
They didn't Cause it
They can't Cure it
They Can't Control it
That they are allowed to Care for themselves, by communicating their feelings, by making healthy Choices and that they are allowed to Celebrate themselves

know that children that abuse is parental offren feel scared, lonely, and many times isolated from their friends, and other family members.

Whether your a spouse, parent ,  or friend of someone dealing with substance abuse finding someone to talk to is a very important step in your recovery.


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